I hate myself for this

I always seem to think that I am the person that anybody can easily play with…as in make me do what they think suits their own personal agenda. For most instances, I would like to assume that I am being friendly or non-frill. I mean its OK anyway sometimes.

But there are times that I really regret having given a person the kind of liberty or power in some cases to affect my course of action. I don’t know what makes me do it.
I guess its one of those sheep in the herd kind of attitude that comes of you that you don’t care to think on your own. Sometimes it is also the pressure that the situation puts on you and becomes better of your ego, and then I simply nod in agreement to whatever happens! When you know what is hapenning is not the best thing that could have hapenned....Can you really keep quiet?

Lets say this instance with reservations! No, its much more than an instance. Its a huge movement in the nation now. I have been getting a lot of mails these days to do something, join some peaceful march, sign a petition and many things of that kind....but what i have done is to delete some of those forwards.....oh yeah barring some which i found were well written. Some of these mails actually had content that was capable of generating some kind of motivation in some poor unacting souls who revel in my company. So I hit a forward button very conveniently thinking that I have done my bit. Iam almost sure that we would not actually go to these protests, oh Iam scared of the blore police, some of whose men can aim and shoot at the most unappropriate moments! and those Lathis....Hey hang on! i have signed some of those petitions....yes, very much in the comfort of my seat....with a nice song playing on the headphone stuck on me. Its ok anyways that I have done my Btech and there are less chances that i fall a victim of this reservation shit..But i forget that there is more to this than the immediate that i can think of....

I have a brother in class 10 now...and i think he is quite good at studies and all....I keep setting these ambitious targets for him(sometimes bossing over)...coz i think its a good thing to be a source of motivation to your kid brother, especially after you were the star of your own school. Iam not lying when I say I have had an excellent record in studies and allied things. So I am sort of looked upon in the family as one of those good girls who has done her bit to make her parents proud. And these poor kids in the family( the larger one) are put under contstant pressure to perform and keep the pride of the family.
I think that at this point I can do much more than a forward to save my own brother from falling prey to such senseless shit with reservations. Why the hell does anybody need a reservation? Is it not enough to have earned the image of a corrupted nation, full of those people who are no better than parasites? Every other day, we are discussing a major murder case/ racket/ scams on TV and doing those SMS polls for incidents that happened years ago...what a pity on our judicial system? Is it not enough to make the world think that we are those kinda people who are always finding excuses to avoid doing work (of any kind or degree) and pass it on to some poor fellow who does not have a clue of what will hit him next? We already have so many bad things about us..is there a need for more?

Think of what will happen to the best institutions we have that churn out thousands of engineers, doctors, architects, designers, scientists, agriculturists, artists and many more such able people. Having reservations will hit our educational standards so badly that i can already see the smart ones leave the country for a better future overseas and find home there. All we will have are the Call centers in the name of foreign investments and dollar earnings....all thanks to the Britishers for the gift of their language in return to the pride that we dearly held once.

God! Please save us from this.....hmm.....i think i can do more than typing a prayer here!